‘Now he barely looks at me’: Woman gets offered a promotion only for husband to demand she'd turn it down to ‘focus on starting a family’, she accepts it anyway

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 9, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Jealousy is an emotion that should have absolutely no place in any relationship or marriage, no matter what. It causes nothing but harm, and has no real contribution. 

The problem is, those who are prone to feeling jealousy, know that it often feels impossible not to let it get the better of you. Even if you know it's irrational, it is simply always there. Whether you're jealous of your partner's relationship with a friend or a coworker, or maybe you're actually jealous of the partner's success and position in your own relationship, ignoring those feelings can feel like drowning.

But letting them take over the relationship is without a doubt a much worse option.

Because with the jealousy often comes the need to control, and trying to control your partner over feelings that control you is a recipe for disaster, and for the end of any relationship. Just like the relationship in the story down below, that might be heading towards divorce all because of the husband's jealousy and need to control his wife.

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  • The woman who wrote this story was really excited when she was offered a great promotion at work. That was until she told her husband about it and he was not on board at all. Whether it was because he was jealous of her success, or because the need to control her got the better hold of him, but he kept trying to convince her to pass on this wonderful opportunity.

    Luckily, she didn't listen.

    Keep scrolling to read what happened next.

  • 01
    "His tone shifted from concern to guilt-tripping"
    via Mikhail Nilov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for Refusing to Give Up My Promotion for My Husband?"

    I've worked my a off for years at my company. Late nights, extra projects, proving myself over and over. Finally, it paid off I was offered a huge promotion with a
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 03
    significant raise and the chance to move up in my field. It was everything I had been working toward. When I told my husband, I expected him to be happy for
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 04
    me. Instead, his first reaction was, But what about us? The promotion came with longer hours and some travel, but nothing extreme. I explained that, yes, things
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 05
    might shift a bit at home, but we could adjust. It wasn't like I was moving across the country just taking on more responsibility.
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 06
    He wasn't convinced. He started making comments like, Do you really need a bigger job? and I thought we wanted to focus on starting a family soon. His tone shifted
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 07
    from concern to guilt- tripping. He even brought up how his dad always provided while his mom stayed home, how their marriage worked because they had clear roles.
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 08
    I reminded him that I wasn't quitting my job when we got married. He knew I was ambitious. He knew this was my goal. He swore he supported me, but now that it
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 09
    was real, he was acting like I had betrayed him. Then he dropped the bombshell, If you really loved me, you'd turn it down. This isn't just about you.
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 10
    That's when I realized it wasn't about us. It was about control. He expected me to shrink myself for the sake of his comfort. I took the job.
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 11
    Now, he barely looks at me. The once supportive man I married has been replaced by someone who sees me as the villain in his story. His family whispers that I put 'money over marriage.' The silence at
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 12
    home is deafening, the space between us growing wider by the day. AITA for choosing my future over a marriage that suddenly came with conditions? Or did
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 13
    I just finally see the truth he never wanted a wife, just someone willing to live in his shadow?
    via AerisDewlyn
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10477648384
    via Juan Moyano
  • 15
    No-Car803 NTA. And set him free to find his 'fantasy' woman. He only wanted you to BREAK your spirit.
    via No-Car803
  • 16
    Let him find a tradwife who'll ride HIM for NOT 'being a provider' & hound him endlessly to work more & make more money EVEN IF IT MAKES HIM MISERABLE!
    via No-Car803
  • 17
    O-neg-alien If it was the reverse if he got a long worked for promotion how would everyone act? You already know the answer ... him and others are showing you their misogyny and he's. showing you the real him and
    via O-neg-alien
  • 18
    a taste of things to come if you had kids, the misogynistic trad wife guy expects the woman to forget her goals in life and cater to him and his offspring and that's it. History is full of women reminiscing about what they could have been or achieved in life if they hadn't married
    via O-neg-alien
  • 19
    gridface-princess Suggest he become a stay at home dad if he wants to start a family. See how he reacts to that. You get your answer with his reaction.
    via gridface-princess
  • 20
    Slight Suggestion_79 if he really loved you he would ever said that. he wants to turn you into a barefoot and pregnant trad wife. He feels small and insecure now. NTA
    via Slight_Suggestion_79
  • 21
    Srvntgrrl_789 NTA. You already have a child. You married him. He's over 18, and he's no longer legally your responsibility. ;)
    via Srvntgrrl_789
  • 22
    acointv NTA. i guess its better to divorce him now when you dont have kids. Because he acts like that now, it will only get worse in the fututre. Chase your dreams and dont listen to anyone
    via acointv
  • 23
    Loverofwomen 5000 NTA. Your husband sounds like a jealous, immature pick who can't stand to see you succeed. It sounds like your success will be a sore spot throughout your marriage. I would give your marriage to him some serious thought.
    via Loverofwomen5000
  • 24
    Normal_Grand_4702 NTA. Tell him to give it time. You never know if you never try. What I know is the higher up you go, the more brain you use instead of physical energy.
    via Normal_Grand_4702
  • 25
    After telling him that you can ignore him if he chose to continue to ignore you. If he really loves you he wouldn't clip your wings.
    via Normal_Grand_4702
  • 26
    Jackrabbits4ever NTA, Anyone who demands their partner be "LESS" in order to make themselves feel like more is pathetic.
    via Jackrabbits4ever

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